Blurred Lines: Navigating Personal Boundaries in Coaching

The coaching relationship is meant to be a space of trust, openness, and growth. But what happens when the boundaries between coach and client begin to blur? 

Whether in organisational settings or personal contexts, the lines can easily become unclear, and with that, the risk of ethical dilemmas and power imbalances rises.

As coaches, we must be vigilant about the roles we play and the potential for blurred boundaries in our relationships. 

Supervision provides the essential space to explore these dynamics, helping coaches navigate complex situations and maintain ethical integrity.

When Boundaries in Coaching Blur: Recognising the Risks

In coaching, the relationship is inherently close, sometimes deeply personal. We listen to clients’ struggles, celebrate their wins, and stand alongside them as they grow and evolve. 

But within this closeness lies the potential for boundaries to become unclear. Here are some common ways this happens:

Colleague or line report relationships

In an organisational setting, coaches might find themselves working with someone who is also a colleague or even a direct report. 

This creates a complex power dynamic, as career progress or performance evaluations can intersect with the coaching relationship. 

The client may feel a need to impress or align with the coach, which can undermine the authenticity of the coaching conversation.

Developing friendships

Over time, it’s natural for coaches and clients to develop rapport, but what happens when that rapport evolves into a friendship? 

While friendly relationships can enhance trust, there’s a fine line between being approachable and becoming too personally involved. 

When the coach starts viewing the client as a friend, it can compromise objectivity, and the client may begin to seek emotional support rather than coaching.

Attraction and romantic feelings

In rare but important cases, coaches and clients may find themselves attracted to one another, further complicating the boundaries of the coaching relationship. 

The ethical risks here are significant, as romantic involvement distorts the power dynamic and alters the purpose of coaching. 

If left unchecked, it can lead to breaches of professional standards and damage the client’s trust.

The Role of Supervision in Exploring Blurred Boundaries in Coaching

When coaches find themselves in these situations, supervision becomes a vital tool. 

It provides the space to reflect on the nature of the relationship and assess whether boundaries are becoming too fluid. 

One of the key roles of the supervisor is to help coaches stay conscious of where these lines are and how to navigate the delicate balance between personal connection and professional integrity.

In supervision, a coach might bring a case where they feel their relationship with a client is becoming too close. 

Perhaps they find themselves thinking about the client outside of sessions, feeling emotionally invested in their personal life, or even sensing an attraction. 

The supervisor’s role is to create a safe, non-judgmental space for these discussions.

Questions that might arise in supervision include:

• What do you notice about your feelings towards the client?
• How might the client experience this relationship?
• Are the goals of the coaching relationship still clear and in focus?
• Is there any potential for a power dynamic or bias to influence the coaching?

Through reflective dialogue, the supervisor can support the coach in seeing the bigger picture and understanding how these blurred boundaries may be impacting the effectiveness of the coaching.

Eye 1: The Client’s Experience – What Are They Thinking?

While much of the focus in supervision is on the coach and their actions, it’s equally important to consider the client’s perspective—Eye 1 in the 7-Eyed Model. 

When boundaries begin to blur, the client may have their own thoughts and feelings about the changing relationship, which could range from positive to negative, and it’s critical for the coach to be aware of this.

In some cases, the client might appreciate the closer relationship, feeling more connected or supported by the coach. This could lead them to rely more heavily on the coach for emotional support, inadvertently shifting the focus away from coaching outcomes and into something more akin to friendship or mentorship. 

On the other hand, the client may feel uncomfortable with the lack of clear boundaries, especially if the relationship begins to take on a romantic or overly personal dynamic. In situations where power imbalances are involved, the client might not even feel safe or empowered enough to express their discomfort.

The challenge for coaches is that clients may not always voice these concerns directly. 

They might downplay or suppress their feelings out of respect for the coach, or they may not even fully recognise how the blurred boundaries are impacting them.

How Supervision Can Explore the Client’s Experience

Supervision provides an opportunity to explore what the client might be thinking or experiencing in relation to these blurred boundaries. 

A skilled supervisor will encourage the coach to step into the client’s shoes and consider the relationship from their perspective. 

Some useful questions a supervisor might ask include:

• How do you think the client views your relationship?
• Have they shown any signs, verbal or non-verbal, that suggest discomfort or confusion about your role?
• Could the client be feeling pressure to maintain the relationship due to a power dynamic, even if they haven’t expressed it directly?
• Is the client perhaps over-relying on you emotionally, and how is that affecting their progress in coaching?

By reflecting on these questions, coaches can become more attuned to their client’s potential experiences and better understand the impact of blurred boundaries from the client’s perspective. 

If the client is either welcoming the blurred lines or struggling with them, it’s crucial that the coach addresses this openly in a way that re-establishes professional boundaries.

Eye 3, Eye 4, and Eye 1 in Conversation

When discussing blurred boundaries in supervision, it’s essential to look at Eye 1 (the client’s experience), Eye 3 (the relationship between coach and client), and Eye 4 (the coach’s experience) in tandem. 

These three perspectives provide a comprehensive view of how the dynamic is shifting and the effects it is having on both parties.

By considering the client’s experience alongside their own, coaches can gain insight into how their actions may be influencing the coaching relationship. 

This reflective process not only highlights the risks of blurred boundaries but also empowers coaches to take corrective action, ensuring the relationship remains professional and focused on the client’s goals.

The Ethical Dilemmas: How Far is Too Far?

Navigating blurred boundaries isn’t just about self-awareness; it’s about understanding the ethical implications that arise when the lines are crossed. 

Coaching is a profession built on trust, and clients come to us expecting confidentiality, objectivity, and focus on their needs. 

When boundaries blur, even unintentionally, it can lead to breaches of this trust.

Supervision is crucial in guiding coaches through the ethical dilemmas that often accompany blurred boundaries. 

For instance:

Can the coach still maintain professional objectivity? 

If personal feelings are clouding judgement, the coach may unconsciously guide the client in ways that align with their own preferences or biases.

Are there conflicts of interest? 

If a coach is working with someone they already know well—whether socially or professionally—the risk of conflicts of interest increases. Supervision can help clarify when the coach should step back and suggest a different professional relationship.

Is there a need to refer the client to another coach or service? 

In cases where boundaries have been breached, it may be necessary for the coach to withdraw from the relationship altogether. Supervision helps coaches reflect on this possibility and determine the most ethical course of action.

The Power of Maintaining Boundaries

Boundaries in coaching serve to protect both the coach and the client. When we keep the lines clear, we’re better able to create a space that’s dedicated to the client’s growth and development. 

Maintaining these boundaries doesn’t mean being cold or distant; it’s about ensuring that the coaching relationship remains professional, with a focus on the client’s goals and well-being.

Supervision helps coaches reflect on the nature of their boundaries and provides tools for maintaining them. Strategies that may come up in supervision include:

Clarifying roles

Revisit the coaching contract or agreement to ensure that both coach and client are clear about the boundaries of the relationship.

Setting emotional boundaries

While emotional engagement is part of any coaching relationship, coaches can learn to maintain enough distance to ensure objectivity. This may involve recognising when personal feelings are getting in the way of the client’s progress and adjusting accordingly.

Managing dual relationships

If a coach is working with someone who is also a colleague or social acquaintance, it’s important to manage the dual relationship carefully. 

Supervision can help navigate the complexities here and determine when it’s appropriate to refer the client to someone else.

Systemic Issues: The Wider Influence on Boundary Setting

Finally, it’s important to consider the systemic view (Eye 7) when exploring blurred boundaries in coaching. 

Coaches often operate within larger systems—organisational, cultural, or even societal—that may influence how boundaries are set or blurred. For example, in some organisational cultures, it’s common for professional and personal relationships to overlap, leading to complex dynamics that make boundary-setting more difficult.

Supervision allows coaches to take a step back and consider the wider context that may be influencing their relationship with the client. 

Are they being pressured to maintain a dual role because of organisational expectations? Are there cultural norms at play that make it harder to keep professional boundaries intact?

By taking a systemic view, supervision can help coaches see the broader forces at work and find ways to navigate these challenges while maintaining ethical integrity.

Conclusion: Clear Boundaries, Clear Coaching

Blurred boundaries in coaching can happen to even the most experienced professionals. 

The key is recognising when it’s happening and taking steps to address it before it undermines the coaching relationship. Supervision plays a critical role in helping coaches reflect on these moments, understand their ethical responsibilities, and navigate complex relational dynamics with clients.

By maintaining clear boundaries, coaches ensure that the focus remains on the client’s growth, free from personal entanglements or power imbalances. It’s about holding space for the client’s journey without letting the relationship veer into realms like friendship, mentorship, or something more personal. It’s also about protecting the coach’s role—allowing us to stay objective, unbiased, and fully present as facilitators of change.

Supervision offers an invaluable framework to explore and untangle blurred boundaries, helping coaches understand not only their own responses but also the client’s experience (Eye 1), the dynamics of the relationship (Eye 3), and any internal drivers at play (Eye 4). 

This reflective process ensures that we remain ethically sound in our practice, even when faced with the complexities of human relationships.

Finally, it’s important to remember that boundary issues are not just personal—they can be influenced by larger systemic factors, whether that’s the culture of the organisation you’re working within, societal norms, or professional expectations. 

Supervision provides a wider lens (Eye 7) to explore these external pressures, helping coaches see the bigger picture and stay grounded in their professional identity.

In the end, clear boundaries are not just a safeguard—they are the foundation of effective, ethical coaching. 

By prioritising boundary awareness and leveraging the power of supervision, coaches can create relationships that are both supportive and professional, allowing their clients to flourish while maintaining the integrity of the coaching process.