Illuminating the Dark: Exploring the Shadow in Coaching

Shadow in coaching

Beneath the surface of every coaching conversation, there are unseen forces shaping the dialogue, influencing behaviours, and subtly guiding the interaction. 

These unseen forces are what we refer to as the Shadow in coaching—those unacknowledged, hidden parts of ourselves and our environments that find expression, often without our awareness.

In every coaching dynamic, there is the shadow of the coach, the shadow of the client, and the shadow of the system within which the coaching takes place. 

These shadows can influence how the coaching relationship unfolds, impacting everything from the goals set to the way each person shows up in the conversation. 

While shadows can be difficult to recognise, they play a critical role in the coaching process.

Supervision is a key tool for helping coaches bring these shadows into awareness, allowing them to understand and manage how these unseen parts of themselves, their clients, and the broader system affect their coaching work.

What Is the Shadow in Coaching?

The concept of shadow originates from the field of psychology, most notably from Carl Jung’s work. 

The shadow refers to those parts of ourselves—thoughts, feelings, behaviours—that we reject, suppress, or simply don’t acknowledge. These can be traits, desires, or impulses that we don’t consciously accept or that we’re uncomfortable with. 

But just because these parts are hidden doesn’t mean they’re inactive. In fact, shadows often express themselves indirectly, shaping our interactions and decisions in subtle ways.

In coaching, these shadows show up in the conversation, behaviours, and reactions of both coach and client. For example, a coach who has suppressed feelings of inadequacy might overcompensate by giving too much advice, trying to prove their worth. A client, on the other hand, may unknowingly avoid certain topics, steering clear of areas that bring up discomfort or insecurity.

Moreover, the system within which the coaching occurs—whether that’s an organisation, a team, or a cultural context—also has its own shadow. 

Systemic shadows are the unspoken rules, values, and behaviours that influence the client and coach, even though they may not be explicitly acknowledged. These can include hidden power dynamics, unresolved conflicts, or cultural taboos that shape the coaching dynamic.

The Shadow of the Coach: What Are You Not Acknowledging?

For the coach, the shadow often manifests in how they show up in the coaching session. 

Unexamined aspects of the coach’s own personality, beliefs, or unresolved emotions can subtly guide their behaviour. Perhaps there’s a fear of being seen as inadequate, which leads to over-asserting expertise or offering too much advice. Or maybe there’s an unacknowledged need to be liked, causing the coach to avoid difficult conversations or challenging the client.

The shadow of the coach might show up in behaviours such as:

Overcompensation

Offering solutions or advice as a way to hide a fear of inadequacy or feeling unhelpful.

Avoidance

Steering away from topics that make the coach uncomfortable, such as power dynamics, conflict, or personal vulnerabilities.

Over-identification

Projecting personal values or beliefs onto the client, believing that the client’s goals or challenges mirror the coach’s own experience.

Supervision helps the coach bring these shadows into the light. Through reflective dialogue, the supervisor can help the coach recognise what they might be unconsciously avoiding or overcompensating for, enabling the coach to engage with greater self-awareness and authenticity.

Shadow in Coaching

Eye 4: The Coach’s Experience of Shadow

Under Eye 4 of the 7-Eyed Model, we focus on the coach’s internal experience. Supervision provides a space for the coach to reflect on their own shadow, exploring how unacknowledged feelings or biases might be influencing their coaching approach. Questions like the following can help the coach uncover these hidden aspects:

  • What aspects of yourself do you feel uncomfortable bringing into the coaching conversation?
  • Are there certain topics or behaviours you avoid with clients? Why might that be?
  • Do you find yourself overcompensating in areas where you feel unsure or insecure?

By exploring these questions, the coach can develop a deeper awareness of their shadow and how it may be impacting the coaching relationship. This awareness allows them to adjust their approach, bringing more balance and authenticity into their coaching work.

The Shadow of the Client: What Is Unacknowledged?

Just as the coach has a shadow, so does the client. 

The client’s shadow often manifests in the areas they are reluctant to explore, the emotions they avoid, or the self-perceptions they refuse to acknowledge. These suppressed aspects might be shaping their goals, limiting their potential, or preventing them from engaging fully in the coaching process.

For instance, a client might:

  • Avoid vulnerability and refuse to discuss areas of perceived weakness or failure, even though these may hold the key to deeper growth.
  • Resist change and unconsciously sabotage progress towards their goals because of a hidden fear of success or failure.
  • Project blame and place responsibility for their challenges on external factors, avoiding ownership of their role in creating or sustaining the issue.

Using Eye 1, supervision can help the coach explore the client’s shadow—those unspoken elements that are influencing the coaching relationship. By tuning into the client’s avoidance patterns, emotional responses, or areas of discomfort, the coach can gently bring these shadows into the conversation, helping the client confront and work through the hidden barriers to their growth.

Eye 3: How Shadow Affects the Coach-Client Relationship

Shadows often operate in the dynamic between coach and client, influencing how they relate to each other. 

This is where Eye 3 comes into play—focusing on the relationship between coach and client. Unspoken aspects of both the coach’s and client’s personalities, values, and past experiences can affect the interaction. 

For example, if the client has a shadow involving unresolved authority issues, they may resist the coach’s guidance, even though they explicitly seek help. 

Similarly, if the coach’s shadow involves a need to be seen as competent, they might shy away from pushing the client when necessary, fearing it will create tension.

Supervision helps coaches notice these relational shadows and how they’re playing out in the room. 

Is the client responding to the coach based on an unconscious projection of a past relationship with an authority figure? Is the coach avoiding certain conversations because they fear it might damage the relationship? 

By bringing these dynamics into awareness, both coach and client can engage more honestly with each other, allowing for deeper and more effective coaching.

Shadow in coaching

The Shadow of the System: Unseen Cultural and Organisational Influences

Beyond the personal shadows of the coach and client, there is often a systemic shadow at play. 

Under Eye 7, supervision helps coaches explore the unspoken rules, cultural norms, and hidden power dynamics that exist within the system in which the coaching takes place. 

These might be organisational values that no longer serve, outdated leadership styles, or unaddressed cultural taboos that silently shape the coaching relationship.

For example, in a hierarchical organisation, the unspoken shadow might be the pressure to conform to leadership norms, even if those norms stifle creativity or individuality. 

A client in such a system might unconsciously align their goals with these unspoken rules, suppressing their true aspirations.

Supervision allows the coach to explore how these systemic shadows influence both them and the client. 

By identifying these forces, the coach can help the client recognise where their goals and behaviours are being shaped by unseen systemic influences, rather than their authentic desires.

Eye 5: Parallel Processes and Shadow in Supervision

Finally, Eye 5 addresses the relationship between the coach and supervisor, and it’s important to recognise that shadow can also operate within this dynamic. Parallel processes occur when the hidden dynamics in the coach-client relationship start showing up in the supervision space. 

For example, if the coach is avoiding challenging the client on a difficult topic, they may also avoid bringing this issue up with their supervisor, allowing the shadow to perpetuate itself.

The supervisor’s role is to gently bring attention to these parallel processes and explore how the coach’s shadow might be manifesting in supervision. 

By addressing these dynamics, the supervisor helps the coach gain clarity on what they are avoiding or unconsciously expressing, empowering them to handle similar shadows in their coaching work.

Conclusion: Illuminating the Shadow for Better Coaching

Shadows in coaching are those unacknowledged parts of ourselves—whether from the coach, the client, or the system—that shape how we interact, behave, and engage in the coaching process. 

Left unchecked, these shadows can limit growth, block authentic conversations, and prevent both coach and client from achieving their full potential.

Supervision provides a vital space for exploring and illuminating these shadows. By reflecting on the unspoken aspects of the coach-client relationship, the coach’s own inner world, and the broader system, supervision helps bring these hidden dynamics into awareness. 

Once acknowledged, shadows lose their power to silently influence the coaching process, allowing for more open, honest, and effective coaching relationships.

In the end, recognising and working with the shadows is essential for deepening the coaching process and ensuring both coach and client can engage in their work with greater authenticity and awareness.

Picture of Nick Bolton

Nick Bolton

Nick is the founder and CEO of the International Centre for Coaching Supervision and Animas Centre for Coaching. Along with his love of coaching and supervision, he is a a passionate learner with a fascination for philosophy, psychology and sociology.

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