What’s the Dance That’s Being Danced? Using Eye 3 to Understand the Coach-Client Relationship

Coaching is not just about the words exchanged between coach and client—it’s about the relationship that unfolds between them. 

Every coaching relationship has its own rhythm, dynamics, and patterns, often shaping the success of the coaching process as much as the content of the conversation itself.

Eye 3 of the Seven-Eyed Model invites supervisors and coaches to step back and observe this relationship from a broader perspective. 

It asks: What is happening between the coach and client? What patterns, roles, and dynamics are being enacted? And most importantly, how is this relationship influencing the coaching outcomes?

One powerful way to explore Eye 3 is through metaphor. 

Metaphors provide a creative lens through which to make sense of the coaching relationship—revealing insights that might otherwise remain hidden. If this coaching relationship were a dance, what dance would it be? A waltz? A tango? A chaotic free-for-all?

In this article, we’ll explore how metaphors can bring Eye 3 to life, why understanding the coach-client dynamic matters, and how supervision can help coaches navigate the dance of coaching with greater awareness and intentionality.

Why Eye 3 Matters: The Power of the Coaching Relationship

Eye 3 in the Seven-Eyed Model of Supervision focuses on the relationship between the coach and client. 

While Eye 1 explores the client’s world and Eye 2 examines the coaching interventions, Eye 3 asks:

• What relational patterns are emerging in this coaching relationship?
• Are certain roles being unconsciously played out?
• Is the relationship helping or hindering progress?

The coach-client relationship is never neutral—it either supports transformation or reinforces existing patterns. 

If a coach unconsciously takes on a rescuer role, the client may remain dependent rather than empowered. If the coaching relationship is too safe and comfortable, real challenges might never surface.

By naming and exploring these dynamics in supervision, coaches gain deeper insight into how their way of being in the relationship is shaping the client’s experience and outcomes.

Exploring Eye 3 Through Metaphor

Metaphors allow us to capture complex relational dynamics in ways that logic and language alone may struggle to express. 

They bring insight, playfulness, and new perspectives to supervision.

Here are some useful metaphors for exploring Eye 3 in coaching supervision:

The Dance Metaphor: What’s the Dance Being Danced?

If this coaching relationship were a dance, what kind of dance would it be?

A waltz? (Elegant, structured, but perhaps too predictable?)

A tango? (Intense, dramatic, full of push and pull?)

A solo performance? (One person leading while the other watches?)

A chaotic free-for-all? (No rhythm, just movement without direction?)

By exploring who is leading, who is following, and whether the dance is serving the client’s growth, supervisors can help coaches adjust their rhythm and approach.

Supervision questions:

• Who is leading the dance in this coaching relationship?
• Is the rhythm working, or is it time for a change in tempo?
• What happens if you change your steps?

The Desert Island Metaphor: Who’s on the Island?

If this coaching relationship were set on a desert island, what would be happening?

Is the coach playing the role of the rescuer, building rafts and finding food while the client waits?

Are both coach and client stranded, unsure of how to navigate forward?

Is the client in charge, with the coach only offering occasional signposts in the sand?

This metaphor helps uncover whether the coach is over-helping, under-supporting, or fully empowering their client.

Supervision questions:

• Who is taking responsibility for finding a way off the island?
• Is the client relying too much on the coach to “save” them?
• How can the coach shift their role to better serve the client’s independence?

The Theatre Metaphor: Who’s Playing What Role?

In some coaching relationships, the coach and client unknowingly step into roles that shape the session’s dynamics. Common dynamics include:

The Rescuer and the Helpless Client – The coach works hard to “fix” things while the client remains passive.

The Expert and the Seeker – The coach provides answers while the client looks for direction rather than self-discovery.

The Challenger and the Defender – The coach pushes, but the client resists, leading to tension rather than insight.

By exploring which roles are being played out and whether they are helpful or limiting, supervision can help coaches bring more intentionality to the relationship.

Supervision questions:

• What role are you unconsciously playing in this relationship?
• Is this role helping or limiting the client?
• What happens if you step out of that role?

The Impact of Naming the Dance

When coaches bring Eye 3 into focus, they often experience aha moments about their relationships with clients. 

By naming the dance, the desert island dynamic, or the theatre roles, they gain a fresh perspective on how their way of relating is shaping the coaching process.

• Coaching that feels stuck can suddenly gain movement when the dance shifts.
• Over-helping or rescuing can be replaced with coaching that empowers.
• Unhelpful relational patterns can be transformed into conscious, supportive dynamics.

Supervisors play a key role in helping coaches recognise, name, and adjust these dynamics—so the coaching relationship becomes a space for real change rather than a repetition of old patterns.

Conclusion: Becoming More Conscious of the Dance

Every coaching relationship has its own unique rhythm, roles, and patterns. By using Eye 3 of the Seven-Eyed Model, supervisors can help coaches step back, observe, and adjust their way of being in the relationship—leading to more effective, intentional coaching.

Through metaphors like the dance, the desert island, or the theatre, supervision offers a creative and powerful lens to make sense of relational dynamics. 

When coaches become aware of what’s happening between them and their clients, they can make adjustments that unlock new possibilities for transformation.